In Chungking, a 27-year-old woman who was graduated works as secretary for the boss of many private enterprises. She works sucessfully with great income, but failed in blind date in every time because of the "hidden rules"that men view as on female secretary. They worry about to be a cuckold. To many, female secretary is president's lover, a second wife.
In reality, a superior has "hidden rules" with subordinate. In official circles, it's prevailing to have a secretary, even appears in the employee AD that showing "with open-minded, good looks and shape". It will make people in subconscious to have a awakening of the another meaning of female secretary. Orient Express
It's hard to marry for female secretary. Is it the reason that the name of female secretary is destroyed? The partner of blind date and observer don't believe the woman's innocence. Is it because female secretary and "hidden rules"have close relation in concept? How come female secretary equals "hidden rules"??
Female secretary equals "Hidden rules"?
From today's topic I can't tell the lady in the story is really such person like people think. As the story said she worked successfully with high income, so she wouldn't go so far as to failed with blind date. You see, As the lady with 27 years old age, no boyfriends, we call "3s lady" now days. But it's a good word, It means the lady is too excellent to find any guy. Cause the guy will fear with so excellent lady or feel ashamed. So the lady in the story must be too excellent. I think.
The society of today, Actually it's not like people think about the relationship between the boss and secretary. It's neither simple nor complicated. It depends on what kind of people you are.
When the lascivious boss meets a avaricious female secretary, No one will be "hidden". It is equal that an olid fly meets a bad egg. We say "give the monkey exactly what one wants", "back scratching""To each according to his needs"
When the lascivious boss meets a decent female secretary, the female secretary will be " hidden" maybe. But if you have a strong mind, if you will not be captivated by money, even don't care jobless, it's impossible that you will be " hidden" by the lascivious boss. But will be fired perhaps, however you'd better run away if you really meet such boss like this. We say "One palm can not makes sounds"
It is no need to say more here...
The relationship between the boss and the secretary is delicate, it depends how do you think, how do you control...
In a word, the secretary is not "honey lover", she is a good assistant of the boss and good wife and mother. A missish women will never be the lover or second wife of the boss. All the men, please do not look on the women with same sight and lose a good wife in your life by this.
How to choose a good wife is not depend on her face.
How to choose a good husband is not depend on how much he saved.
Although there really are a lot of girls who have already been involved in "hidden rules" or expect to be like this, we can't link female secretary with boss's lover immediately whenever we make mention of this kind of career. It's a prejudice of this career if you think definitely that female secretary must be the lover or concubine of boss.
Maybe there are many reasons for girls to choose this kind of career. Labor intensity is not very strong, female are more careful than man, their memory and language skill is still better than man's on average, etc. So it's the most stupid thing to break up with your girl just because she is in secretarial field, it might kill a perfect marriage, what a pity!
But the real social phenomenon is that most of the wealthy can't be satisfied by his wedded wife and have got tired of them, that's why such kind of dude just employ pretty young girls as their private secretary. If they really want to employ someone who can be helpful for their business, don't need this definite limitation, so I can say the incentive is not very pure.
Before you accept an interview (I especially mean girls according to this topic), maybe you can figure out the real intention of that position if you are not the kind of one who want to be a nabobess overnight, which is a crosscut really.
Money can not exchange everything in this world, it should not only be your life goal. What I want to caution you guys is: "pls. keep your nose clean !".
It's really a sensitive topic!
Not long ago, a newspaper reported that a girl from Chongqing ,has been the secretary for many bosses since she graduated.Her work is going on smoothly and the wage is quite considerable,but to find a boy friend seems so difficult for her.The main reason is that most people feel that female secretary equals to "hidden rules",and take it for granted.They are worried being given a "green hat".
Well then ,where is the sense that the secretary has the relation to "hidden rules"?Nowadays,the big atmosphere of career is being poisoned potentially,which leads to the imagination of being "hidden rules",and no one believes it's their hard work that resulting in their success .
The relation between secretary and "hidden rules" is made possible by its professional standard and orientation.Normally speaking,males and senior man can also be qualified for secretaries.However,some units give out the discriminate thresholds such as gender,age and appearance,they only employ the young females who have good looks.This intention has made it together with "hidden rules".
In any case,the responsibility should be borned by the employers,but the other way round in reality.The negative evaluation is only attributed to the employees,no matter the actresses or female secretaries.It's easy to blame them,but useless,because as we all know,the rules of game in career are not established by them!
As a female, I do not agree with this kind of society prejudice. But we cannot avoid the problem. Too many people do some wrong things so that the society misunderstand the job's essential. Secretary to be a necessary job, helping their bosses to deal with many daily grinds, which exists in nearly every office.
Many times, we cannot accept some viewpoints which come from the society in theory, but we use the practice to verify the reality of the absurd society hidden rule. Do not think I am taunting the society. I just describe a society phenomena. And actually, there are many similar examples that are showed here and there every day.
The unfair of the society phenomena has existed for many years which would not be moved by our some word or be cast aside by the sense. To be honest, even though I know that discriminate the job is wrong, I also will not choose the job to be my career. That is the reality. I do not teach everyone to say "yes" to the unfair phenomena. Now I just want to ask everyone a question-- what is reason of the appearance of the phenomena? Money, ardor, peacockery or true love. If they are really the root, who can we solve them. In our sense of morality, some of them are wrong, and some of them are right. However, all of them are human nature. I think no one can change it.
What we should do? It seems like an incurable disease. Maybe. But I want to say if everyone do the things which will not contrary to the society's principles, our society must be very well.
IS a female secretary equals "hidden rules",which is similar to questions like ,Is the 80s belong to the lots generation ?IS the officer all grafter? Is boy do better than girl ? In a word ,this is a extensive topic ,and there can never be one answer to these questions , an it is always varys from person to person.
How can we definetely say this female is a a good or bad woman just by a few words ,or just by what her job? That would be unfair for other girls who are hard-working and conscientious.Against such a major background ,especially the competetions are fierce ,and in order to claim higher ,most people has gone to extremes. It is understandable for majority to think of the female seceratry in such a dark side.However,I believe persons who have conscience would not willing to blame all the female SEC by sweeping generalization .To judge a person's moral or quality from the job is subjective.Whereas on questions like these,our thinking should not be one-sided.After all,we are all different.
all of you are so fast
I sympasize these female secretarys, in fact ,I do not think there is any relationship between female secretary and "Hidden rules".
The so-called "Hidden Rules" should be defined to "Trading sexual harassment".The bosses can offer a munificent reward on condition that these female secretaries must meet their sexual requirments.This behavior goes back on professional ethics seriously,which should be prohibit.But,because of our unsound laws,it is not reducing but become more and more popular.Undoubtedly,not all the bosses are so snotty and dirty,some of them judge the persons by their ability but appearance,they pay for them according to their achievements.Obviously,some female secretary are not self-love ,they would like to exchange with their bosses using thier beauty,just about these girls dirty reputation leading to many female secretary suffer to injustice,so ,no one will believe they are innocent,no one will believe they gain thier achievements by way of blood and sweat.
There is much to these story.In entertainment circle,"Hidden Rules" are very hot.Some actresses exchange thier bodies with some dirty people to obtain chance of performance.is it worthwhile?only they know.
Methods to solve this problem are still not avaliable and it will not disappear in a short time.I hope our country will strengthen control this unnormal phenomenon to protct more persons.But some people should reflect upon themeselves,isn't it?
Whenever I see those flambouyantly dressed female secretaries, I necessarily relate them to those whores seducing with their sexy looks in my subconscious, and that really is egregiously gross to me.
Even though those girl or woman secretaries don't mean what they appearingly do, the impressions are very bad and annoying people who might think of indecent relationship between them and their employers.
On the other hand, we shouldn't cut them off from our friend list just becasue they are girls or women with good looks and happen to work as secretaries. As what is said, "Look beneath the surface and you can judge correctly."
We will not deny the fact that many private enterprises employed people with open mind,good looks and shape.the purpose of the boss is to recrew second wife.
Once I had a female friend, she applied for a secretary job, when she was interviewed,the boss was kind-heart at first,but gradually asked if she was local resident,if she had a boyfriend,if she live single or double, my friend said she came from other province,didn't have bf,lived by herself,after hearing this,the boss said he can rent an apartment for her,even exaggerated was that he would like to sleep their.tremble with fear, she excuse to the washroom,and escape fast,she told me she scared been raped by the dirty old man.
Anyway it is a risk for her first interview,but i recommend that man don't worry about being cuckolded,the most factors depends on how you look, how you judge a women,how you distinguish the false or ture,if the women is pure enough and have virtuous,you trust her enough,and you searched that her boss was a gentle man,i think it is ok to let her take her secretary job,after all,boss start their business for successful career but not sex trade.
I'd like to say it depends on the female secretary herself, the company's culture and the boss himself.
1.If the female secretary thinks to be "hidden" by the boss can change her life quickly and is the shortcut to be wealthy, maybe even if the boss doesn't mean to do this at first, but it's hard for him to resist her continuous flirty wink and ambiguous actions. So if the female secretary means to involve in "hidden rules", there is problem in her moral quality, so talking about "innocence" with such person is meaningless.
2.If the company's culture is not so good, everyone doesn't focus on how to do their work well, but only pay attention to how to flatter the boss, there is huge possibility to exist "hidden rules". Maybe female colleagues use every mean to make herself popular among leaders. And female secretary is the person who gets in touch with boss more often than others. Then everything could happen.
3.If the boss is someone who wants to play with many girls, then there is possibility that he will ask female secretary to be "hidden" by him and always be his side.
The most important thing is when female secretary encounters such thing, her choice is what. That choice decides if she is innocent.
After all, not all companies could happen this, it's up to the female secretary's choice.
If you are a female secretary, you do your work hard, you respect others, meanwhile get respect from others, then don't mind what other person is saying.
That is my point of view.tks.
I do agree that a good person won't change his/her moral ideas just because of the job they have.Everyone has his/her own baseline,they all know what they should do and shouldn't.Even if they sure do some immoral things,we have no standpoint to accuse them.It's their life,non of our business.My opinion is just let it be.Also we most people should try not to judge people by their jobs only.
It is unfair to the female,I don't think female secretary equals "Hidden rules", it depends on what kinds of company and what kinds of boss. In my opinion, there are still many company are in a good work atmosphere.
Now i'm a secretary to a gerneral manager in a joint venture company, he is a boss without a good temper but great talent,i work hard and learn a lot, but i never meet the "hidden rules". May be I'm fortunate. I look down upon those girls who lost in the hidden rules, if it need me to work like that, i will not take the job even I can get high salary, this is out of my rules, I only want to live in a pure and simple life!
I am really surprised while seeing this topic,so I think it is really unfair to the girls who work as secretary ,although some destroy the reputation of this work.However,most firms like to employ unmarried,it seems that the job like young people.So I propose that the girls do not do this work for a long time.
Female secretary's innocence would be trusted when another thing that have no close relation with female secretary is prevailing in offical circles. Haha......
how can we put female secretary and hidden rules together .i believe that female secretaty has nothing to do with hidden rules .if the men are afraid of being cuckold ,how do you think about the men who is the secretary of a female boss .it is not unfair for women .
I also have seen another similar news .and the main content goes like this :a gorgeous-looking woman worked in a juvenile prison .she really worked hard and helped the adolescent to turn over a new leaf.Her eyes were always full of deep sympathy for the youngsters in the prison .but she was fired at last because of her gorgeous-looking appearence .
female secretaries use their professional knowlege to make arrangement for the bosses' daily activities and increase the bosses' efficiency ,even help the bosses to run the company smoothly .they earn their money by honest labor .how can we connect the secretary with hidden rules ?
feudal ideology has great impact on the men 's thought and the women's thought .some of the bad habits or custom are so inveterate that people's thought is narrow and partial . virtue education should be inhanced and also women should preserve our own moral integrity.men should admit that women has own rights to choose their own life styles .men should also drive away their own bad thoughts so that both of men and women can get a clean world and promote a more beautiful world .
Pretty sure, in the eyes of lots of people, female secretaries mean lovers of the managers or officers. Admittedly, this phenomenon exists in the society. You know, secretaries are usually very pretty and charming. In the mean time, those bosses are in successful figures. What's more, they have pretty many opportunities to be together with each other only. Another reason should be that the boss is in power, if the secretary doesn't obey him, maybe she'll lose her job.
But we can't make judgment too arbitrarily. There are lots of innocent secretaries in China who are very successful with their work depending on their talent and diligence. But men and old people can't make any presumptions because of the common comments on this group, which would be rather unfair. Actually this is a position indispensable in the modern society and it is absolutely a decent job.
Personally, I think with the further development of our society, the unusual and incorrect phenomenon will be reversed and people will view it as a common and respectable position just as governors, teachers, lawyers, etc.
i think every boss would like to hire secretaries based on her beauty.
no one like to face to a urgly secretary all days, right?
but in reality
so many beautiful girls are allways need to use much money to make them look good.
the short way to make money is to betray their beauty,
No. I have to say many people have predudice against female secretaries. In their opinion, all female secretaries have close and improper relationship with their bosses, so most blind data for those females fail.
One professor in our Department has been famous for his academic achievement as well as his secretaries. He is over 50 years old- a divorced man. In recent years, he has employed several secretaries. The most famous one was a beauty who had a car. She drove to my school to do some secretary's work, which have been talked about by many students. This kind of secretaries always attracts our attention and grabs our imagination.
There are some, or even many secretaries who have illegal relationships with their boss. Because some bosses need their secretaries to satisfy some underlying requirements, such as being their own lovers, contributing to some negotiations with some womanizers. Their acts have distroyed the industy and lives of many other female secretaries.
But there are also some respectable female secretaries. They have done outstanding work and have helped their bosses solve many tough problems. Nowadays, more and more female secretaries have bachelor degrees, or even maste degrees. They are highly qualified. They play an very important role in their company. and their work in their compaines are highly praised. So from this standpoint, it is a great and essential industry.
The most typical examples we can see is former US secretary Condoleezza Rice and present US secretary Hilary Clinton. They show us "Female secretary" does not equal "hidden rules".
Yes, i think so. Maybe most of males are thinking like this. They don't want to be cuckolded. If you date with a girl and you just heard she is a secretary, a lot of questions will come out. I just think this is the Hidden Thinking.....
I am so angry when I saw the news. I am a secretary, or assistant so-called. I couldn't understand why people will judge a person by his occupation and especially they do not know what the secretary actually do and how important their job is.
I just give a simple example. My boss has left my previous company to a new one. For these two months he has no secretary. Today I met him in the new company and he said: I am so glad to see you again and you know how many meetings I missed in the two months? My calenda is in mass all these time!!!
You see? No matter how high the position you are in, you need some one to arrange your time and prepare any logistic tings for you to save time.
BTW, My boss is CFO of my company!
Hopefully all the people should show your respect to secretaries because they are really working hard, especially those ladies who are still under such kind of judgement.
Indeed,I believe a plentiful people has heard of the extramarital affairs what happend in office expecially between boss and secretary.But I don't think there is absolute relationship with "Hidden rules".In people eyes,secretary is a sensitive positon in office.But I recognize it is unfair to them,most of them is innocent.
We can't deny a woman with good figure,pretty face will be tied with "hidden rules" in subconscious easily.Because they possess priority than those common people.When they become the secretary of their boss,we think why she can get so great income and allowance is only due to their appearance.Why not think they also have their own dignity to refuse the harassing from their boss or superior?They earn the live as hard-working,excellent ability in job.Therefore they become a real good secretary to assist the boss settling company affairs well.For business and daily issues,female secretary often have to stay with their boss or leader.But most of people will misunderstand their relation is complex or dirty inevitably.Frequently contact doesn't entirely means it touch the "hiden rules".
Although in modern society,many female is tired of earning few but spend a lot,then they rather prefer to be the second wife underground as short cut for getting great income and substance.If it happen in office,I dar say you will feel hatred to them.But in the blind date,men don't prejudice against the female working as secretary as the "hide rules" superficially.
If you have been a female secretary,you should keep your dignity and respect yourself first.In official working place,regard your dress up and speech.Better don't wear the clothes which exposes your skin inappropriately;don't do anything what will make others impress you are a easy virtue woman.Good reputation will give you a good scores in future dating also.
In brief,I don't agree with the opinion of femal secretary equals "Hidden rules".It essentially depends on the woman's own charater,morality and concept.
I think it is a sad thing for these girls who are or will be secretaries. Everyone want to have a good life, we can't misunderstand it just because the hidden rules does exist.
As a girl, I believe every girl has a dream about her Prince and a happy end. I hope the men could treat female secretary fairly.
I think most of secretaries may keep a special relation with her boss .Because these secretaries is boss's private assistant and deal with many personal affairs,including work ,life ,even food and shelter .So It is necessary to spending a lot of time together with her boss. In this period, what will happen ,who konws ? In a word, I think we may choice to a female secretary for marriage partner or not .It's all up to you,we don't discuss this sensitive topic so that bringing more worry for femle secretary and leading to a worse effect in society.
Yeah,whatevery do the female secretary or other occupation,we need do ourself perfect which don't mind other people's saying,do a diligent and responsibility and practical secretary if you are pure you'll get the praise someday because the time could prove everything...
Well, I don't think so. It's biased to believe that female secretary equals "Hidden rules". Maybe in today's society that can be seen manywhere, but it doesn't means that it is everywhere. We should threat everyone as the same. There are still many people JUST work as secretaries, they would not do anything that will destroy their reputation and pride.
i don't believe all female secratary are boss's lover, it's only happened to a few of them.And the hidden rules has no relationship with one's career. Female doing other jobs may also become boss's lover. could you say that all women are boss' lover? so let us not judge people by their career. it is unfair!
Generally speacking,most of female secretary are boss's lover,but there are few femal secretary are not,but i think it can be just few people.
there is no need to say anymore,"female secretary",80% are boss's lover,this is real society,
there is no significance to disscussed.
if you are a secretary in one company,although you are a honest perpson,you never to do things which break your rules,and you always obey yourself's rules,and never to do somethings which break social ethics.
as we know,some times,somethings you can't be hadled by yourself,
in this field,there are somethings about "hidden rules",
in most of people's mind,the "secretary" is not good word,not a good position,
but,in some largre and good reputation company,may be this kind of situation that isn't be occured,
it is a good topic today isn't it !
IN my opinion! I don't think the boss wnat to play will their female secretary, expect the back scratching! It is a some kind of trade-off. So we can said, if you are mind strong enought you will got a good deal. not matter you are the boss or secretary.
It's up to the female secretary's choice totally.If she does accept the "hidden rules", she has no rights to be respected by others. As money and status are the most importance in her mind, she could not gain true love in her life. However, we should judge anybody from the ability and personality,instead of her or his job. If somebody believes the female secretary equals the "hidden rules", it is not fair for women.
I don't think the profession "Secretary" has anything to do with "Hidden rules".
If the secretary is in good moral and strong mind herself,if she doesn't want to be "hidden rules",she won't be.Otherwise,if the secretary is a minx or put money the first place in her life,even if she was not a secretary ,she will catch every chance to seduce the superior in order to obtain what she wants.
As a boss,I don't think it's wise for him to "hidden rule" the secretary.It'll be better to go to bed with someone outside the company if he wants to operate his business successfully and meet less trouble.Because when the secretary doesn't get what she wants and want to revenge the boss,she will do very bad things to the company and the boss.As a Chinese old saying goes " A hare doesn't eat the grass near its own hole;A villain doesn't harm his nextdoor neighbors"!
As we all know .many girls who were graduated are very suitable to be a secterary.They work very hard and carefullly.It just like the Chongqing girl who worked successfully with great income.Unfortunatlly,the "hidden rules "is destroying their social fame .There are some reasons to explain the phenomeno ,i think.
one is the female secterary has to face the tough competetion in the modern society.In order to find a good job,these girls had to tolerate their bosses sexual harassment,even some are falied to be their bosses lover or second wife.
The other is the degradation of some female morality.with the social and economic development rapidly.more and more people are eager to be wealthy.so do they earn a lot of money without respect their fame and moral sense.
i found every field of career always existed something connected with hidden rule. for example, the tour guide have sex relation with her custome, can we say that all the female tour guides are all of this kind? in official field, some female civil servant have special relation with leaders, can we say that female civil servant can't find a husband?
so i just think we can't let something grey destroy this colorful world. just like the female secretary, whether she's the innocent girl depends on her character not the career.but i also have to admit, in china man's view about female career is not so unfair and the society put great pressure on woman, we should understand them and support them.
In Chungking,a 27-year-old woman who was graduated and worked as a secretary for the boss of many private enterprises.She works successfully with great income,but failed in blind date every time because of the "hidden rules" that men view as on female secretay.They worry about to be a cuckold.To many,female secretary is persident's lover,a second wife.
In reality,a superior has "hidden rules" with subordinate.In official circles,it's prevailing to have a secretary,even appears in the employee AD that showing "with open-minded,good looks and shape".It will make people in subconscious to have as awakening of the another meaning of female secretary.
It's hard to marry for female secretary.Is it the reason that the name of female secretary is destroyed?The partner of blind date and observer don't belive the woman's innocence.Is it because female secretary and "hidden rules" have close relations in concept?How come female secretary equals "hidden rules"?
I think the phenomenon can't be prohibit now,but can't be change years later.It exists for many many years,which people think it subjectively all along.For example,we always think the officials are defacalte.In fact,not all of them are defacalte.So it need more time to change people's minds.